Why Fish Don't Exist

Lulu Miller is an American radio producer and science journalist. Because the book is a memoir, Miller is present as the narrator and speaker. Her interest in David Starr Jordan emerges from her search for meaning and for support, having been introduced to the meaningless of existence at a young age by her scientist father and having struggled for much of her life with depression and suicidal ideation. Ultimately, her encounter with David Starr Jordan does provide a model for how to live a good life—but not in the way she anticipated at the outset of the book.

Miller’s description of her own life is the testament to the impact of chaos: Miller grew up in a family with two older sisters and a bold, rule-breaking scientist of a father who embraced the meaningless of life and let the realization fuel him to live a life that was “big and good” (36). He encouraged Miller to adopt a similar perspective. Once, while on a family vacation as a child, Miller asked him if what life was about. In response, he told her that nothing mattered; there was no God, but one should embrace life anyway.