They Both Die at the End

“The number one person I’ll miss the most is Future Mateo, who maybe loosened up and lived.”

Mateo feels regret when he receives the notice from Death-Cast. Mateo’s regret stems from the fact that he lived a small life until then, preferring to spend his time sequestered away playing video games in the safety of his bedroom. This regret lays the groundwork for the major plot thrust of the novel: Mateo’s transformation into a new, more alive human being.

“Because I refused to live invincibly on all the days I didn’t get an alert, I wasted all those yesterdays and am completely out of tomorrows.”

Mateo mourns that he no longer has a “tomorrow” and wasted his life living safely and not “invincibly.” Over the course of the novel, however, Mateo realizes that it is possible to improve the quality of one’s entire life, by living 24 hours to the fullest.

“But I’m not hard. I’ve barely been able to live with myself for surviving something my family didn’t—something that wasn’t even my fault. There’s no way in hell I would’ve been chill with myself for beating someone to death.” 

At this point in the novel, it is unclear if Rufus is a “good” or “bad” character. As Rufus clarifies in this passage, while he presents as “hard,” he is not an evil or bad person, and he certainly would not have been okay with beating Peck to death. He alludes to his guilt over surviving something that his family did not—survivor’s guilt is the main emotion that informs Rufus’ character.