The Choice: Embrace the Possible

Eger’s memoir is full of figures whose lives look different from what they expected. She observes, “Maybe every life is a study of the things we don’t have but wish we did, and the things we have but wish we didn’t” (19). Many people live under a shroud of disappointment, comparing their present life to the possibilities that didn’t unfold, a mindset that not only affects their own quality of life but also impacts the people around them. In the Introduction, Eger describes two women who approach her for different reasons—one has recently lost a child, and the other is unsatisfied with her new car’s color. While she instinctively sympathizes more with the former, Eger soon realizes that their grief stems from the same source: Their lives aren’t what they expected. The second woman’s reaction, though seemingly frivolous, overflows from other disappointments. Most patient stories don’t appear until Part 3, when Eger earns her psychology degree, but Eger intentionally includes this story in the Introduction to prepare readers for an emerging pattern that appears almost immediately in the first chapter. Regardless how severe a person’s trauma extends, unmet expectations can imprison a person in “what ifs” until they learn to live for the present.