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54 pages 1 hour read

Emily X. R. Pan

The Astonishing Color of After

Emily X. R. PanFiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2018

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Symbols & Motifs

The Bird-Mother

The bird-mother who raps on Leigh’s door the night before Dory’s funeral is a symbol that recurs throughout the novel, a triumphant substitute for the bloody stain on the bedroom floor where Dory killed herself and left Leigh with a “mother-shaped hole” (1). The bird towers over Dory’s petite stature while living, and she counters Dory’s “grayer than a sketch” corpse with “sharp and gleaming” red feathers (11; 9). The bird-mother is initially a compensatory figure who distracts Leigh from her grief by leading her to Taiwan, where Leigh learns about the past and family that Dory kept hidden. The bird’s persistent appearance, whether in the form of red feathers that appear in boxes and dressers or in sightings around Taipei and in Leigh’s dreams, affirms to Leigh that her mother is still on earth. The failure of Leigh’s father to specifically acknowledge the bird cements the rift between them, as Leigh subconsciously sees her father as an adversary to her pursuit of the truth about her mother.

However, the bird is not an entirely benign entity. She can only call Leigh’s name, and despite Leigh’s elaborate attempts to make a net to catch her, the bird resists all tactile contact.

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