Marriage is a Private Affair

“In the cosmopolitan atmosphere of the city it had always seemed to her something of a joke that a person’s tribe could determine who he married.”

When Nene and Nnaemeka are discussing the best way to share the news of their engagement with Okeke, Nnaemeka insists that Okeke will be most unhappy, especially since the marriage was not arranged by him. Nene, who was born and raised in Lagos, in a far less traditional setting than Nnaemeka, struggles to comprehend the rigidity of these tribal customs.

“‘I can’t—we must—I mean it is impossible for me to marry Nweke’s daughter.’ ‘Impossible. Why?’ asked his father. ‘I don’t love her.’ ‘Nobody said you did. Why should you?’”

This conversation between Nnaemeka and his father highlights the huge generational gap between the two of them. Nnaemeka wants to marry for love, whereas Okeke cannot fathom that love would even be a consideration when choosing a wife. In Okeke’s mind, the girl he has chosen for Nnaemeka possesses all the qualities one could want in a wife: She is a Christian, she’s received the necessary training, and she reads her Bible fluently.

“What one looks for in a wife are a good character and a Christian background.”

Okeke outlines his traditional views on marriage, but when Nnaemeka shares that he is engaged to marry a woman who possesses these qualities and more, Okeke cannot accept the news since she is not of the Igbo tribe. Furthermore, Okeke points out that Nene’s career as a teacher is not acceptable for a good Christian woman.