Breathing Underwater

Breathing Underwater is a 2001 young adult novel by author Alex Flinn that tells the story of Nick Andreas, a wealthy teenage boy who struggles with his abusive father and abuses his girlfriend, Caitlin. When she files a restraining order and he must take a court-ordered family violence class, Nick begins to reevaluate his behavior and troubled past. As Nick is forced to face his emotional damage, he learns that change and growth are possible. Flinn’s debut novel, written in part as Nick’s diary entries over the course of six months, has been lauded for its raw depiction of teenage angst and its provocative insight into generational abuse. This guide uses the 2012 edition of the e-book.

Plot Summary

The story begins with Nick in court because his ex-girlfriend, Caitlin, has filed a restraining order against him for hitting her. The judge orders Nick to attend six months of family violence classes and to write 500 words per week in a journal about his relationship with Caitlin. Nick begins journaling by describing how he met her. He and his best friend, Tom, noticed her as they started their sophomore year of high school. Nick could not recognize her at first because she had lost weight over the summer.

Nick attends the family violence class, led by Mario, who demands they start taking responsibility for their actions. Nick reluctantly shares that he only slapped Caitlin and that he is in the class because of a misunderstanding. In his journal, Nick describes the day Caitlin agreed to go to a party with him and expresses his jealousy over Tom’s seemingly perfect home life. Nick’s home life is ruled by fear of his abusive father.

At school, Nick’s friends, including Tom, have now abandoned him. He feels isolated and betrayed. Other students, namely Caitlin’s best friend Elsa, taunt him in class. Nick writes about going to the party with Caitlin. After party crashers attempted to trash the house and Caitlin spoke up, Nick violently defended her as things escalated. She called him her hero.

In family violence class, Mario explains that isolating someone from friends or family is controlling behavior. This discussion reminds Nick of how he forced Caitlin to stop seeing Elsa. Mario also requires the members to talk about their parents. Nick realizes that the others have abusive experiences similar to his. In his journal, he writes about being beaten by his father and having to skip school so no one would see his black eye. He told Caitlin he was sick and argued with her to stay away. She showed up at his house anyway and discovered that Nick had been beaten by his father. Caitlin encouraged him to tell someone, but he refused, and they professed their love for each other.

In violation of the restraining order, Nick calls Caitlin and speaks to her at school, asking her to take him back. She refuses, and Nick angrily tells her that he never loved her. Back in the violence class, Nick lies about his father, saying that they get along well and have ever since his mother left when Nick was five years old. As Nick continues to journal, he realizes how manipulative, controlling, and abusive he was with Caitlin. At school, a teacher who has noticed the pattern of Nick’s bruises confronts him about his father. She also knows about his situation with Caitlin. Nick does not share anything with her, but she tells him that he should not think of himself as a bad person, and that being only 16, he has time to change.

Nick is driven confront his abusive past when one of the group members, Leo, kills his girlfriend and then himself. During the last class session, Mario reveals that he was once an abusive husband but has changed his behavior. Nick commits to retaking the class and gives Mario his journal to read. That night, Nick stands up to his father. Upon starting his junior year, Nick learns from Tom that Caitlin has moved away. Before she left, she shared with Tom that Nick had been abused by his father. Tom is angry with Nick for not telling him the truth. Tom and Nick speak honestly, and eventually they reconcile.